10 Things I Hate About You ft. Joni Blud

May 13

Jonathan Pienaar, aka Joni Blud is a senior art director at Ogilvy London. Originally from Durban, Joni and I spent our Cape Town years throwing unreasonably good parties and running a clothing label. Somehow, against all odds, he recently got married. When he’s not art directing or WhatsApp-deep in a group chat with the boys, he writes a bit of music and obsesses over ikebana. Joni has strong opinions about everything and is not shy to share them.

Joni’s thoughts:

1. Something you're into right now

I'm really into medieval armour, specifically chainmail, like the type they used in the era where people fought each other with swords and other hand weapons. Chainmail was a sort of outer skin that added an extra layer of protection (perhaps the first layer outside of the skin). I think it looks cool. I would definitely wear chainmail long sleeves if I found one.

2. Something you’re not into right now

I'm not into group walking, as a general concept. Walking should be a solo activity…maybe one other person. I think politeness is very quickly disappearing in terms of walking in public. I like to think of walking as a category of travel; other people think of walking as a way to annoy me.

3. First-ever concert, age and location

Probably a Christian band night somewhere at a church in Amanzimtoti. I guess the first real live show I went to was a night at the old Winston in Durban. I have no idea who the bands were. I just remember a lot of Satanic imagery on the wall. I was terrified. I was liberated.
Now I find most Satanic imagery to be quite funny.

4. Conspiracy theory you believe in

Aliens exist.

5. Go-to recipe

I’m a sucker for a long cook. Most things I cook take about 6 hours.

6. What perfume/cologne do you wear?

I wear Orto Parisi Cuoium mostly. My wife, Alex, bought it for me because I saw a TikTok about it. It was a series of fragrance memes I was being served, and this particular TikTok was headlined 'How to smell evil'. It said that this perfume smelled like dried blood and war. I've never been super into fragrances, but that meme spoke to me, and now I love it. Another fragrance is the one my wife and I made for our wedding. That one doesn't remind me of war. It reminds me of my wedding day.

7 .What's your favourite plant?

I love banana trees. They remind me of Durban.

8. Cottage in the woods or cabin by the sea

Cabin by the sea, ez

9. What is your favourite fruit?

I'm gonna say oranges

10 .What's your death row meal?

Medium McFeast Spicy, chips, a Coke and a cigarette